This past week, there was an article in the New York Times that really caught our attention.
In it, Adam Grant talks about “languishing” — a feeling of being joyless and aimless, a sense of stagnation and emptiness. Not depressed or burned out, but not flourishing either. He posits that while in 2020 the predominant feelings were acute loss and fear, in 2021 this has given way to languishing.
It’s been resonating with a lot of folks, including us.
How about you?
We’ve been talking and thinking about how to “deal with” the feeling of languishing. (Actually, we had planned to talk about it on our weekly Friday Facebook Live, but unfortunately the Goddess of Tech decided to outsmart us and we couldn’t get on, so we will be back to chat more about this next Friday, April 30th, at noon Eastern)
In the meantime, we wanted to offer you a few suggestions if you’ve been feeling disconnected and uninspired, and would love to turn back towards your bigger goals and dreams — or simply want to find the spring in your step again.
Be with to move through
We live in a society that wants us to “snap out of it” when we have a problem or feel down. Before rushing to fix it, acknowledge it; give yourself permission to feel what you feel. Get curious, befriend it. That could look like putting on some music and moving with it, or journaling about it or with it in dialogue. The only way to the other side is through. If you need support with this, reach out to a friend, a therapist or a coach who can comfortably sit with you in that courageous space.
Reconnect to your deeper why
Part of moving through is understanding what’s at the root of your lack of inspiration. The pandemic and its aftermath are a given, but what else is present for you? A fundamental reason for that blah feeling could be feeling disconnected from your own core sense of purpose — your Why. Why bother? What am I even reaching for?
To connect more deeply to your why, think of a small desire or bigger dream you’ve been carrying. Why did/do you want this? When you have your answer, dig deeper. What’s important to you about that? And what’s important to you about that? Keep going until you’ve reached the essence of what has meaning and value to you — your deepest Why.
Seek guidance from your inner WiseWoman
The WiseWoman within is that compassionate, wise, all-knowing aspect of you, your Higher Self, and the face of the Divine Feminine, that you can turn to for guidance and inspiration.
To connect with her wisdom, come into the body. Get quiet with your feet on the floor and focus on your breath. Exhale, sending thoughts down through the soles of your feet and into Mother Earth as you send your roots down deep and wide. Breathe in and out through the heart, and call Her in. Ask her for guidance. Trust your intuition and honour it by receiving her gifts of wisdom.
Take a cue from (your) nature
Should you sleep in or get up and move? Write in your journal or watch Netflix? There’s a time and a season for everything — we were not designed to be living on a 24/7 cycle of forcing and pushing. The WiseWoman is aligned with the cycles of nature — the seasons, day and night, the lunar cycle — and her own natural rhythm. Check in with your body and ask, What is my natural rhythm right now? Is it time for me to release, to rest, or to receive? To move into action, to celebrate, or to harvest?
Or simply ask, What feels like love right now?
Take small steps, moment by moment
If you’re stalled on a dream you’ve been longing to move towards, take it one tiny step at a time. When we look at the totality of what it might take to reach a bigger goal, everything can feel overwhelming, and so we don’t do anything at all.
Instead, have compassion for yourself. Give yourself permission to take it slowly, one small choice and one small step at a time. Break down bigger projects and goals into tiny bit-sized pieces, even a few minutes at a time (SARK calls these “micromovements.”).
Even the biggest dreams can be accomplished through small actions, taken consistently, moving from a place of inner guidance.
See your languishing as a gift
Ultimately, everything is a perspective. Even the toughest challenges can be converted to a gift or an opportunity when we are curious and courageous enough to see them through a different lens.
What might be the gifts in “languishing” and in these times of transition and pause for you? Perhaps it’s an opportunity to re-evaluate what matters and what doesn’t. To discover new passions. Or to learn how to feel your feelings, and to be a complete human BE-ing, in all your foibles and your grace.
